So… I admit. I have been silent for awhile. And I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to talk about this. I’m one to usually struggle in silence, and usually one to only share my worries with my closest friends. But this isn’t only my struggle. I’ve seen so many people talk about this, so I figured I would talk about it too.
My career pathway always seemed very linear. I went to high school. I graduated. I went to a four-year university. I graduated. And I’d always assumed that after that, I would just basically get a full-time job. But that isn’t what happened. I started my application process early, in January to be exact. I applied anywhere and everywhere to radio jobs. But nothing stuck. I got emails back telling me “sorry blah blah blah you weren’t the candidate we were looking for.” Or I heard nothing. And before I knew it, it was May. Time to graduate, but I still had nothing. I was in panic mode.
Don’t get me wrong, I came close to some things. I had two interviews for one job, and was a semi-finalist for an impressive fellowship with NPR, but of course, nothing came of any of them. I also had a pretty cool week-long internship in Las Vegas this summer, but nothing was permanent. Nothing stuck. I was sinking, and my self-confidence was sinking with me.
I wish I could pinpoint when exactly it was that I started feeling better, but I can’t. I have good, confident days and I still have those when I feel defeated and wilted. But it’s going to be okay. The thing about the post-grad uncertainty boat is – there are quite a few people in it with me. So I may be many things, but lonely isn’t one of them.
What am I doing right now? I’m working three part-time jobs. I’m living in Raleigh. Little by little I’m tacking on more adult bills and expenses. But that’s okay. I like all three of my jobs at the UNC Department of Dramatic Art, WCHL and Curtis Media Group. I’m working in radio at two of them, which is exactly what I want to be doing. And I have the unique ability to expand both my reporting and on-air personality/production/promotion experience. For now, I am okay. But one day I will be better.
And for my friends who also catch themselves wondering if they did the right thing, or my friends who are still looking for a job, I believe in you.