We all have that friend who always tells you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Sometimes just enough of the truth, but a lot of times, too much of the truth.
That’s me. I am that friend.
And I speak the truth. I don’t always want to, and I definitely don’t always mean to, but I’m horrible at hiding how I feel about something (ugh I know I double majored in drama I should be so much better at this) but I’m also never passive-aggressive, and I’ll tell you straight up if something is bothering me. Here are other reasons it’s sometimes good… and sometimes bad to be the #NoFilter friend.
- People come to me for advice. People want to know what I think about certain things and certain situations, because they know I’ll tell them exactly how I feel and I won’t sugarcoat it to spare any feelings.
- Like I said above, passive-aggressive isn’t my style. If I have a problem, even if it’s small, I’m not one to sit on my feelings until I blow up. I go to the forefront of the problem and try to talk it out right then and there. Most of the time, this means fewer huge fights with friends, and stronger relationships in the process.
- It has made me more confident. I remember being a pre-teen and always being self-conscious about having my own thoughts and my own opinions. I think, eventually I just lost that and decided to be my own person. I have opinions. Lots of them. Why should I have to hide them to be more “appealing?”
- My friends and family know that I really love them. I think that when people figure out how (sometimes) brutally honest I am, it means even more to these people when I tell them how much they mean to me. Just like everything else, they know I’m not just bs-ing them or telling them something I know they want to hear.
- People assume I’m being funny. Don’t get me wrong, I am funny. I’m very funny and witty when I’m not on the spot. But when you are telling someone something they might not want to hear, they can sometimes assume it’s all a big joke. It isn’t.
- People ask me for advice. Yes, I already put this in the good list. But giving people advice, or being expected to give people advice, isn’t always a good thing. And some don’t want to hear what you really think, they want to hear what they want to hear.
- Some assume I have no feelings. “You’re so honest because you have a stone-cold heart, right?” Wut. That makes no sense. Having no filter isn’t about wanting to hurt other people. It’s about being in touch with your feelings and having a strong sense of self.
Don’t get this confused with being mean. While I tell people exactly what I think, I would never intentionally say something to hurt someone. I don’t walk around insulting people and criticizing who they are. I understand people have feelings. Remember? I have them too. Plenty of them.
At the end of the day, I’d rather be too open and completely transparent. I’d rather you be able to tell what I think about something, for real.