I really hate that word. Perfect. And yet, here I am in my last year of college striving to achieve that same stupid, impossible standard. The perfect roommate. The perfect best friend. The perfect worker. The perfect student. The perfect daughter. The perfect older sister. The perfect reporter.
It’s exhausting. And yet, I still find myself trying my best, killing myself from bending far enough backwards to make it happen.
Well, of course nobody’s perfect. But that doesn’t make it any easier of a pill to swallow when you can’t do everything or please everyone. That’s probably how you know when you’re growing up, when you accept that you can’t do everything and you move on.
This blog post is less a forum for me to complain about my feelings and problems and more of an opportunity for encouragement to my fellow students, peers, colleagues and friends. You are enough. You can do that thing you’ve always wanted. You can have friends and still perform well in school. You might not have gotten your first choice of job, but you’ll get one. You will make it through this.
And in case no one ever tells you… I believe in you. As much as I believe in myself. And while I’m living and breathing proof that senior year is not as much of a cakewalk as everyone said it would be… and that it’s more of an abyss full of panic and uncertainty… it’s important to take a second to be mindful, and think about what it is about this unattainable quality that so many people seem to want so much.
- What is perfection, anyway?
- Where do your motivations stem from?
- Is this about being competitive or making someone else proud of you?
- What will make you happy and fulfilled right now?
For me, right now~ I don’t know what perfection is anymore. I’m starting to think of it more as an opportunity for personal fulfillment- a time in which every aspect of your life seems balanced and in place. Right now, I don’t feel that, but I also think this sense of perfection is entirely subjective. My motivations stem from my competitive nature and my drive to be the best I can be. It’s about making my friends, family and mentors proud of me… but it’s also about making me proud of myself. I’m starting to learn to be proud, and I’m learning to accept things about myself that I didn’t used to.
Is this perfect? No. Is that okay? It will be.